By Kelley Harper for LIFELines
America's finest are trained to respond at a moment's notice to any contingency. No challenge is too great, no obstacle too far out of reach. Or is it?
It's unlikely that they taught you in boot camp how to change a dirty diaper, walk a fussy baby, or measure formula in the middle of the night. Nothing will fully prepare you for parenthood, but you can learn what to expect and how to handle your new bundle of joy — whether you're on land or at sea.
What to Expect as a Rookie Father
In your first few months as an expectant father, it may seem as if nothing has really changed. As far as you can see, your wife's belly is getting a little larger, your grocery bill has gone up, and you're spending all your free time giving massages.
So where do you fit in? Often, fathers feel unsure of what their role is during pregnancy and the first few months after the baby is born. But just because you're not the pregnant one doesn't mean you don't have concerns and fears of your own.
"I want to make sure that the baby and my wife are in good health," says a Marine staff sergeant stationed at Camp Pendleton, California. "And I worry about having everything to provide for my family."
Health and finances may not be your only worries. It's also normal to feel any of the following:
• Concern about what type of father you will be
• Added responsibility, and pressure to balance your time
• Curious about relationship changes with your partner
• Mood changes (hers and yours)
• Changes in the way you view the world and others around you
Rest assured, this is all part of adjusting to fatherhood and understanding the changes in your life during the coming months.
Are You Ready for Boot Camp Again?
Grab your gear because you're off to train for your most difficult challenge — your precious new addition.
Baby Boot Camp, offered by the New Parent Support Program (NPSP), is for expectant, new, and returning parents. You'll be guided through every aspect of parenting, from how to change a diaper to understanding relationship changes with your spouse. Fathers are encouraged to attend alone or with their spouse. Also see the Fleet and Family Support Center's New Parent Support Program.
Monica, a Navy spouse whose husband was deployed during most of her pregnancy and the birth of their first child, attended classes in Bremerton, Washington.
"It's a great resource," she says. "They have everything you can imagine for new parents, from basic parenting classes to videos you can borrow. It really helped me deal with being a new mother and helped me include my husband in being a new father."
Distant Daddies: Having a Baby During Deployment
Many years ago, a telegram announcing the birth of a child was the only source of information for new fathers. Although it can be a challenge to stay connected to your new baby during a deployment, there are ways to prepare for fatherhood at a distance.
Use technology to help bridge the miles. You can see a picture of your newborn, and you can read to your child on video.
Homecomings can be exciting, but also an adjustment with a new baby. That's why the Return and Reunion Program helps ease the transition back into family life for new fathers (as well as new mothers at home). Your command can hold briefings whether you're on land or aboard ship.
Mission accomplished. Your next challenge: Set up a sleep strategy.